There’s A Crowdfunding Campaign To Send Craig Kelly A Bag Of Dildos

by crypto journalist

A group called Cock Bock Craig Kelly is raising money to send serial pest Craig Kelly 1000 dildos as revenge for sending everyone those unsolicited text messages. Iconic.

The anonymous group is attempting to raise $15000 for their cause and have also pledged to donate $7 for every dick. That money will then be sent to a charity that immunises people in developing countries.

“Millions of Australians have gotten nuisance texts from Craig Kelly and Clive Palmer’s United Australia Party, but can’t opt out,” the donation page reads.

“If we can’t stop the UAP texting us with dangerous misinformation, we reckon the next best thing is to deliver Craig a message he can’t ignore: a very big bag of dicks.

“Political parties are exempt from anti-spam laws. Craig Kelly is using this loophole to spread health misinformation that puts everyone at risk.

“Heaps of Australians want to block the United Australia Party but can’t.

“Since we can’t stop Craig texting us, let’s send him very big bag of dicks with a clear message – you are cock BLOCKED.”

I think it’s a small price to pay for the United Australia party leader, who used Clive Palmer‘s unearned cash to send random numbers a text that read: “You can never trust the Liberals, Labor or [the] Greens again,” with a link to his own website.

Unfortunately under the Spam Act, political parties are actually allowed to send unsolicited texts, even if it annoys the fuck out of everyone. So the only real way to get revenge on smelly Kelly is to send him a bag of Australia’s finest dildos. Although, even that might be too nice for him.

For anyone else getting that text from the tin foil hat wearing Craig Kelly. Please forward to @acmadotgov 0429 999 888 or complain at, this text won’t let you unsubscribe so clearly is not compliant.

— Michael Decamp (@MichaelDecamp4) August 26, 2021

In fact, Kelly has shown almost no remorse for the act at all. He reckons Aussies should be more worried about “vaccine passports”, which is a really dumb way of deflecting his own wrongdoing.

“If they’re concerned about Australians privacy, they should be standing up and calling for an end to vaccine passports,” Kelly told .

Eat a dick Kelly (literally).

Peep the crowdfunding campaign here.


This content was originally published here.

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